The first day of the new year was the ideal day for me to prove my resolution of quality time with my family. Yes, we were together all day - away from the monotonous home environment. I had a work deadline to meet, but this was the time of test. I decided to stay away from my computer, so that I wouldn't get tempted to switch it on. Having been in government service for almost 18 years, workaholism is one thing I seem to have grown to live with and that was exactly what had distanced me from my family. "Familiarity breeds intimacy," somebody (???) had said - I read it somewhere, don't remember where - and I had lost those moments of breeding intimacy (with my children in particular). My older son's dazed look and empty stare were what woke me up one fine day and by then he had already lost much of the precious time I could've spent with him. And, then, I noticed my bubbly daughter (oldest child), who used to run gleefully into my arms, had become frozen cold with no show of emotions whatsoever. Her face that used to light up when I was around had turned sour. Even her smiles were sourish. My youngest son, on the other hand, turned out to be the lucky one. He came out into this world at a time when I was guilty of not being around for my two older children. I was a bit more conscious of my parental responsibilities with my youngest child and, yes, we are very close and open with each other. My other two children hardly express themselves, therefore, I have to do the wild guessing of what they like, do not like, want, do not want, wish to do, not in the mood, etc etc etc. I've been compelled to learn to read their body language to the minutest detail. But, of course, my daughter has her own ways of showing she remembers her mom by not forgetting to wish me on my birthday and on mother's day. Recently she went on an institutional trip to Kolkata and she surprised me with such lovely gifts. She had bought me stuffs of my choice and then I realized how grown up she already was.
So, what did we do on the first blessed day of the new year? We went picnicking! It was a bit of an unusual kind of picnic, with a pot full of marinaded raw chopped up chicken in our packed bags. Did we just have chicken for lunch? Well, chicken was the only meat we decided on for today, hoping it wouldn't be a 'kabhi kabhi' story but rather a 'martey dam tak' kind of story for us in 2010. But, why chicken? Why not pork or beef or fish? Simple reason - chicken is a common favourite among us. And, to add to it, my husband is extremely good with chicken dishes. So, besides the marinaded raw chicken in our bags, we had another pot of already prepared chicken masala curry - the best we've tasted so far of my husband's cooking. I'm better at making butter stir fry stuffs with vegetables and vegetable soup in the pressure cooker. Not in today's menu, though. I'm no good with typical Bhutanese dishes - neither paa, nor ema daatsi. My daughter is good at red dried chilly curry with plenty of oil and some onions. Today, I tried my hand at a mixture of green chillies, white dried chillies and red dried chillies, with plenty of oil and little fresh cheese. No onions. No garlic. No tomatoes. Too much of all these already in the chicken masala curry and, oh, I forgot to mention the egg dish (hard boiled, peeled and roasted vigorously in chilly powder, onion, garlic and ginger). And, by the way, I hate amul cheese in my curry! I'd rather have it with bread or just like that. Gosh! I hope I didn't sound like Sally in the movie 'When Harry Met Sally.'
Coming back to the marinaded chicken, the picture above tells the story. This is what we did different. Something to the effect of kabab, but not exactly so. How did it turn out? Superbly fantabulous! The children loved the taste and the mood was just right. Well, that was our starter, alongwith some lemon flavour Lay's potatoto chips, fresh green chillies with salt and some finely roasted chilly powder with garlic. Of course, by the time we settled for the main meal we realized we were all pretty full.
With the river flowing right in front of our eyes, trees all around and stones of interesting shapes and sizes that could easily be turned into a piece of artwork at VAST, how could a family on a picnic not enjoy? My older son played hunter jumping from rock to rock on the river, with a stick in hand pretending to poke at fish. My daughter took on the role of photographer, but I couldn't make out if she was enjoying it. She looked as though she were missing her boyfriend, who couldn't be with us because he had to be at a puja at home. My youngest child was enjoying singing along while listening to his sister's choice of songs in her mobile. I think he's pretty good with rap songs.
When we started packing up to leave the picnic spot, it was around 3:30 pm and already looking quite dark. I guess a sign of the winter solstice tomorrow...
The children said they enjoyed the picnic. My journey through the new year resolutions had begun well.
While driving back home I announced that we needed to buy a new football. Both my sons are crazy about playing football and why not? There was the free Changjiji ground nearby to play on and make new friends.
Having seen a brochure of the new private school - Pelkhil - we tried looking for it on our way back from the picnic spot and found a huge incomplete structure and wondered how ready they were for academic session 2010. Maybe we got the wrong place...just wanted to check it out for my older son, who's waiting for the class ten results. He's confident of passing and I keep insisting it's not enough to just pass but also be qualified for class 11. So, if I'm looking for a private school for him, I guess that means I'm not confident he'll qualify for class eleven in a public school. But, if he does, he would surprise me beyond words and definitely be deserving of a special gift.
Nothing on the snow and quake that shook Druk Yul on the eve of 2010?
ReplyDeleteBe optimistic about your son. We never know, sometimes what goes in is not what comes out, either way. I do not beleive in this - garbage in, garbage out. Excuse me, I'm not casting aspersions on your son. I don't recall what my parents thought about my examinations when I was a student.
Well, the snow was not so exciting as in 2004 when the traffic came to a screeching halt. We had planned to visit the Changangkha Lhakhang - our annual tradition - on the 31st of Dec that also happened to be tshe chengna and we were thankful the snow did not stop us.
ReplyDeleteAnd, the quake - the news in the local paper yesterday came as a shock to me because it hadn't occurred to me that the tremour I had felt the previous day was that of the earthquake - honestly. No words for the misfortune experienced in the east...only silent empathy and heartfelt prayers...
But, if you mean "should I have celebrated the new year despite the quake?" then I'd say I am guilty of showing insensitivity. I think it would've been difficult to explain to my children why we needed to cancel the picnic - something they had looked forward to. Perhaps, I should've been sensitive enough not to write about it in my blog. I don't know...but, yes, you've succeeded in making me feel guilty, if that was your intention (may be not).
And, thanks for reminding me to be optimistic about my son. I do sometimes get this feeling that he might pleasantly surprise all of us, but even if he doesn't qualify or pass I know in my heart I'll understand and make necessary arrangements for him NOT to DIScontinue studies.
Do keep commenting. I like the way you make me think.
No, I wasn't trying to prick your conscience. I plead not guilty.
ReplyDeleteGosh! The picture makes me and my family seem so un-Buddhist! Please pardon us for that. We are just human and cannot resist meat, but surely we are Buddhist at heart.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I left meat and eggs totally for more than a year and then got back to chicken about a month ago after discovering how weak we were both becoming and losing the little personality we had developed. We realized we needed protein, which of course we can get from other sources (such as dahl, soyabean), however, not so appetizing as chicken.
So, we continue our un-Buddhist path of meat eating with the hope we will be looked upon with empathy by those who understand what we mean.
Well, I would say the main thing to understand about being or not being Buddhist is your own conscience. How do you feel each time you eat meat? Do you enjoy eating it, or do you feel guilty after each meal of meat? If you feel guilty, what is it that you feel guilty about? That a living being was slaughtered, or that you're not following Buddhist virtues? Which? Upto you to awaken to the awareness of what is un-Buddhist about meat eating - is it un-Buddhist, in the first place, or is it what the traditional books say and we believe in it without a full understanding of the meaning?
ReplyDeleteI cannot resist but barge in here just as I cannot resist meat dishes. Not to justify why I'm carnivorous, I recall long time ago reading a small booklet in Choekey on precepts of meat dishes, which says that unless you eat the meat/flesh of an animal that either you killed yourself or had it killed by somebody for your consumption, it's sinless. However, a high-ranking lama had his reservations about it, and the same booklet talks about it.
ReplyDeleteI don't kill, I don't hire butcher, and I don't sweet-talk or seduce somebody into killing. I'm Muslim. I enjoy meat dishes, and I eat dried meat dry come what may!
Thanks, Gakyid, for your insightful comment. Yes, I feel guilty each time I eat meat. I kind of imagine the live animal that WAS and is now in my stomach and feel aweful. I do not even have to be a Buddhist or a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian or whatever other religion to feel guilty. It just feels wrong! But, of course, my late father was a crazy meat eater and when he ended up with colon cancer I read in a health magazine that one of the causes is meat. So, even healthwise it is actually to be avoided or minimized.
ReplyDeleteAnd, Dawa, thanks for the opportunity to interact with you on this very interesting subject. Yes, I agree, books tell us when it is ok to eat meat and when not, but don't you think it is more sinful to create a reason for the killing of animals by being the consumers who demand for such supply? Others kill to sell because of us consumers, so if we must stop killing we must stop eating, mena? Otherwise, in what way are we Buddhists compassionate? I think we eat meat and enjoy it when we separate the self from the I and focus on the self. If we focused on the I and looked inward, we would not actually enjoy it that much because we would empathize with every other I - whether animal or human - as our equal. That's how I think it is perhaps un-Buddhist to eat meat.
Nice :)
ReplyDeleteAlthough I heard 'familiarity breeds contempt'. Intimacy sounds cool too.
The comments are intriguing too. Especially the meat-eating part. I restarted eating meat stuffs too because health issue was becoming a disturbing factor.
Anyways, we cannot digress from the fact that while Buddhism (and many other religions)came to life aobut 2,500 years ago, our ancestors before that have been mere meat-eating beings. As rightly said, a stream whose path has been artificially changed will flow in its orignial path at times of deluge. We may submit ourselves to philosophies that came up 2,500 years ago, but we will have to face the fact that we will always be overcome and overrun by our true roots that delve further (hundreds of thousand years backwards).
So I don't see much guilt in us being just the true children of our actual ancestors here :)
Thanks, Tongyal. I feel less guilty when I put myself among the mass meat eaters.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if we must accept being overcome and overrun by our true roots, then change is really unchangeable. And, when we think of the global climatic change that was effected by change in human actions, then conservatism and remaining faithful to our roots make quite a bit of sense. So, Tongyal, from that perspective I quite like your idea of us being true children of our actual ancestors. In fact, it is quite intriguing to challenge (not to be viewed with a negative connotation, please) Buddha's philosophy of impermanence (change???).
thanks for the wishes and have a good 2010
ReplyDeletethanks bb
ReplyDelete